One of the things I love about my job is the emails that are exchanged between me, my fellow performers, and/or booking agents. The content of many of my emails over the years – content that is completely normal and indicative to my line of work, and therefore written in a serious nature – may seem anything but normal to someone outside of the entertainment industry, and usually will contain sentences and/or paragraphs that you would never find in your everyday, run-of-the-mill email.
And that is why I enjoy them so. That we can be talking about subject matter that would otherwise be considered ludicrous in such a serious manner because it is our livelihood.
Take, for example, this email sent to me by the enormously talented and charming juggler Lindsay Benner. Lindsay was going to be one of the performers in a show I was producing last March. I knew that she would be presenting her lovely “Book of Love” act, but wasn’t sure how she would end it, extending her time onstage to the 20 minutes I had allotted. I had contacted her asking for a line-up of the routines she would be performing. Lindsay, replying to my inquiry, sent me this email:
Looking forward to it!
For my 20 minutes, I can either add 5 minutes to the beginning of the “Book of Love” and
do a ball out-of-mouth, sleight-of-hand type of thing, or I can add 5 minutes to the end which means I end in a straitjacket. Which would you prefer?
Of course, I went with the straitjacket…
Here is another example that involved my act. This is an actual email I received only a few days ago while working my current run here in Cancun, Mexico. My shows take place every night in a different resort. These resorts are the all-inclusive type and usually cater to adults. There are some, however, that welcome kids and are considered “family resorts.” I am engaged to perform my comedy and magic show at both types of resorts. This email came from the owner of the company who books me for the resort contracts. I received it
the day following one of my appearances at one of the family resorts. The only alteration to this email I have made is to remove the names of people involved to protect their anonymity. Other than that, it remains the same as how I received it:
Here is a copy of an email I received from [NAME DELETED] at [NAME OF THE RESORT DELETED].
I have no idea what was done or said, only what he wrote. PLEASE remove these two, and all similar items from the show there immediately. I like the show and they like you, but apparently he has an issue with these two things. Here they are:
Hoping this email suits you well i would like to
communicate something that has turn on our alarms.
Yesterday In Shawn McMaster´s show happened a
couple of situations that we can´t present, as entertainers we are, in a
The very first trick he present he appeared from his crotch
a card, he opened the zipper and show the card. He was very graphic.
Then, in his performance of walking through the audience
appearing cards, he stand up a lady and said, “look I appear this card from
Is not that we are easily impressionable, is just that we
never know how our guests are going to take this kind of attitudes.
Please help me to enforce the family friendly performances.
Send you my best Regards.
His English needs work, but if you are pulling cards from your crotch, please stop. And if they come out of a woman’s butt in the audience, please stop that as well. If you pull a card out of any bodily cavity of people, please do not do that.
Please stop these things at all the family resorts. Thanks!
The owner of the company was very gracious and understanding in his email, but he also has to think of his clients – the resorts – and I totally understood where he was coming from. However, what was described by the man at the resort – in broken English to the man who booked me – was not exactly what happened. Here was my reply:
Everything in my show at [NAME OF RESORT DELETED] is exactly the same as I have presented
it in the past. Nothing has changed over these past few years, and they have always been fine with it before. But, I will make the appropriate changes, if that is what they are now requesting.
Just so YOU know, there has never been anything “graphic” in my act. Yes, I have removed a chosen card from my fly in both family and adult resorts. It is quick and there is no “rummaging around.” However, when I first began the contracts here in Mexico, I originally asked all the family resorts if
“Card from the Fly” would be ok. They told me yes, but apparently that has changed and I will no longer do that at the family resorts.
As to pulling a card from “a woman’s butt,” that is not what’s happening. I run through the audience at the end of my act looking for a selected card. I ask a woman to stand up and find that she is sitting on a card. I say, “Underneath this lady’s butt, the 7 of Diamonds! Was THIS your card?” I have always been sure to say “butt” instead of “ass” so as not to offend anyone who might be sensitive. Again, if a woman sitting on a card is considered offensive in the family resorts, I will change that.
Thanks for bringing my attention to this matter. Consider these two bits changed at the family resorts.